I am in the hospital because my cousin’s brother swallowed a 16 GB memory card and he is singing all the songs on it. We’re hoping it doesn’t reach the video folder…

What is the sushi chef’s dream car? rolls rice

What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped

What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief? The amateur thief says, “Give me all your money!” The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”