If you’re ready to laugh so hard your drill sergeant might just give you push-ups for it, you’re in the right place. Whether you’re a seasoned vet or just someone who appreciates a good military joke, this list of 101 Army Jokes is locked, loaded, and aimed directly at your funny bone. From classic one-liners to hilarious wordplay, these jokes are sure to give you a much-needed break from standing at attention. Now, get ready to march into laughter!

Laugh at Ease: 101 Army laughs to Brighten Your Day

1. What do you call a military dog that’s a great dancer? A jive retriever.
2. Why don’t army tanks tell jokes? Because they’d blow the punchline!
3. What’s a soldier’s favorite type of music? Heavy artillery.
4. Why did the army recruit wear a clock around his neck? Because he was told to be on time!
5. What do soldiers do when they get bored? They have a battle of wits!
6. Why don’t soldiers play hide-and-seek? Because good luck hiding a tank.
7. What did the general say to his troops before leaving for war? “March forth!”
8. Why was the army medic so good at telling jokes? He always knew how to deliver!
9. Why did the soldier sleep in his boots? He wanted to stay ready to march into his dreams.
10. What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite time of day? Attention o’clock!
11. Why did the sergeant break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t follow orders.
12. How do you recognize an army chef? He always has his grill sergeant.
13. Why don’t army ants ever stop working? They’re always in formation.
14. Why did the private bring a ladder to training? To rise through the ranks!
15. How do soldiers keep warm? With army blankets, of course.

101 Army Jokes: Because Even Soldiers Need a Laugh

1. Why was the army jeep always tired? It couldn’t handle the extra “tank” on its back.
2. Why do soldiers wear camouflage? Because they don’t want to be spotted!
3. What do you call a lazy soldier? A tank-sitter.
4. Why was the soldier always cold? He was stationed at Fort Brrrr.
5. What’s a soldier’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks, because they ruin everything!
6. Why did the soldier cross the road? Because the general said so!
7. Why do army soldiers never gossip? Because they keep things classified.
8. What did one army boot say to the other? “We make a great pair!”
9. Why do soldiers carry crayons? In case they need to draw fire!
10. How do soldiers like their eggs? Scrambled, just like their drill sergeant says.
11. What did the soldier say to the vending machine? “Give me a break, soldier!”
12. Why do soldiers love algebra? Because they excel at missions.
13. Why don’t soldiers play cards? Because there are too many generals!
14. What’s a soldier’s favorite game? Call of Duty-free!
15. Why did the general go to the bakery? He wanted to give his troops a roll call.

Attention! 101 Army giggles Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle

1. Why did the army tank apply for a loan? It needed some capital.
2. What do you call a soldier who runs out of ammo? A “bulletproof” optimist.
3. Why did the soldier refuse to run the marathon? He didn’t want to desert his team.
4. Why do army helicopters never crash? They always keep their cool and rotor minds.
5. Why did the private start gardening? He wanted to grow his own rank.
6. How does an army recruit like his coffee? Strong and on the double.
7. What’s a soldier’s favorite candy? War-heads!
8. Why did the army get into the shoe business? To start marching orders.
9. Why did the army truck apply for a promotion? It wanted to move up in the ranks.
10. How do you know if a soldier’s lying? His story doesn’t add up—too much artillery!
11. Why don’t soldiers ever tell secrets? Because loose lips sink ships.
12. What do you call a soldier’s retirement party? A decommission!
13. Why did the soldier quit knitting? He didn’t want to get tangled up in any more combat situations.
14. Why do army officers make terrible DJs? They’re too into military “orders.”
15. What do you call a camouflaged joke? A pun in hiding.

Perfect Your Punchlines at Humor Academy 2.0

Have you ever wanted to be the person who lights up the room with laughter? Humor Academy 2.0 is your ultimate guide to mastering the craft of comedy, from sharp one-liners to storytelling that will have your audience rolling in the aisles. Whether you’re looking to boost your confidence, add humor to your speeches, or even make a career out of comedy—this course has got you covered!

With Humor Academy 2.0, you’ll learn:

• The secret formula behind every great joke
• How to adapt humor for different audiences
• Storytelling techniques to keep people hooked
• And so much more!

Sign up now and take the stage with confidence!

Laughter is a powerful tool—don’t just admire it, learn to wield it like a pro. Get started today and become the comedian you’ve always wanted to be. Enroll now to join Humor Academy 2.0 and get the laughs rolling!

101 Army Jokes That Are Locked, Loaded, and Hilarious

1. Why do soldiers love camping? They’re pros at tent situations.
2. What did the lieutenant say to the misbehaving soldier? “You’re grounded—again!”
3. Why are soldiers always invited to parties? They know how to have a blast!
4. What do soldiers eat for breakfast? Captain Crunch.
5. Why did the soldier throw his clock out the window? He wanted time to fly.
6. How do soldiers prefer their stakes? High.
7. Why did the army major start a bakery? He wanted to make dough rise.
8. What’s a soldier’s favorite dance? The quick march.
9. Why don’t army medics ever lose a race? They’ve got healing speed!
10. What’s a soldier’s favorite side hustle? Target practice.
11. Why did the army chef always get promoted? He knew how to serve!
12. How do you tell if a soldier’s telling a joke? If it’s out of rank, it’s probably funny.
13. Why are soldiers so good at cooking? They always follow orders.
14. Why do army men make terrible stand-up comics? They always miss the punchline.
15. What’s a soldier’s favorite drink? Sergeant Pepper!

Laugh Out Loud with These 101 Army Jokes

1. Why did the army private fail geometry? He couldn’t handle all the angles in a battle plan.
2. Why don’t army officers ever get tired? Because they’re in command-energy mode.
3. What do you call a soldier with a good sense of direction? A-maze-ing!
4. Why was the private always worried about the weather? He didn’t want to face the re-rain-forcement.
5. Why are soldiers bad at poker? Because they always give orders.
6. Why did the soldier bring a flashlight to battle? He needed some light artillery.
7. What’s a soldier’s favorite breakfast? Grits—because it takes grit!
8. Why do soldiers love elevators? They’re experts at lifting the troops.
9. Why did the recruit refuse to play hide-and-seek? He didn’t want to go “AWOL.”
10. What did the private say when he lost his rifle? “I’ve gone off the handle!”
11. Why are soldiers always ready for action? Because they’re armed to the teeth!
12. Why was the army boot unhappy? It was always getting laced up in trouble.
13. Why don’t soldiers ever go broke? They always know how to save their ammo.
14. What do you call a soldier in a suit? Out of uniform!
15. Why are soldiers so organized? They’ve been drilled since day one!

Jokes in Formation: 101 Army Laughs for Every Rank

1. Why do soldiers like video games? Because they’re used to being in control.
2. Why did the army truck never get tired? It always had a spare.
3. Why did the soldier wear a belt to battle? He didn’t want to lose his pants under fire.
4. What do you call a promotion in the military? A rank-up!
5. Why was the recruit so good at charades? He knew how to follow signals.
6. What did the soldier say to the grenade? “You’re the bomb!”
7. Why do soldiers love action movies? They remind them of work.
8. Why don’t army soldiers ever lie? Because they’re always standing at attention.
9. Why do army cadets hate stairs? Too many steps of rank.
10. What do you call a military orchestra? A platoon-tune.
11. Why do soldiers make terrible magicians? They can never hide anything from their sergeant!
12. Why did the army major carry a watch? So he’d know when to attack at the right time.
13. What’s a soldier’s least favorite house chore? Sweeping mines!
14. Why don’t soldiers play basketball? They’re always focused on field work.
15. What did the sergeant say to the stubborn soldier? “Shape up or ship out!”

At Ease, Soldier! 101 Army funnies to Keep You Smiling

1. Why don’t soldiers ever get cold? Because they’ve got discipline!
2. What’s a soldier’s favorite dessert? Army cake—it’s always on a roll!
3. Why was the army tent so popular? It always had a great pitch!
4. Why did the soldier bring a ruler to boot camp? To measure his steps.
5. Why are soldiers such good drivers? They know how to handle the battleground.
6. What’s a soldier’s favorite exercise? The push-up…to a promotion!
7. Why was the recruit always early? Because his time was up!
8. Why do soldiers love tea? It keeps them at T-attention.
9. What’s a soldier’s favorite form of social media? Tank-stagram!
10. Why was the soldier great at math? He knew how to multiply forces.
11. Why don’t soldiers use laptops? Because they prefer desktops…for defense!
12. What’s a soldier’s favorite class in school? History—there’s always a battle to learn from.
13. Why was the general so good at organizing parties? He had great command over logistics.
14. Why do army chefs always win cooking contests? They know how to stir up a battle.
15. What’s a soldier’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road—it’s a battlefield!

Army one-liners That Are Salute-Worthy

1. Why do soldiers hate gossip? They prefer radio silence.
2. Why did the soldier carry a notebook? To take down enemy notes.
3. What’s a soldier’s favorite holiday? Veteran’s Day—because every day’s a mission.
4. Why don’t soldiers get lost? They always follow orders and directions.
5. What’s a soldier’s favorite flower? Snap-dragons—they never give up!
6. Why did the sergeant visit the bakery? To get his troops in dough-line.
7. What do you call a private with bad jokes? A bomb-tickler.
8. What do you call a soldier who loves photography? A sharp shooter.
9. Why was the recruit always confused? Because he couldn’t find the point of the mission!
10. What do soldiers say before diving into a pool? “Cover me, I’m going in!”
11. Why are soldiers great at chess? They know how to defend their position.
12. Why did the recruit bring a bucket to training? He was trying to carry out his orders.
13. Why did the army recruit bring an umbrella? To weather the storm of training.
14. Why don’t soldiers ever wear bowties? Because they’re trained for combat, not “fancy combat!”

101 Army Jokes: Stand Tall, Laugh Hard

We hope these 101 Army Jokes have you smiling like you’ve just received leave. After all, even in the most disciplined ranks, laughter is the best weapon in your arsenal. Whether you’re sharing these jokes with your fellow comrades or just keeping them in your mental barracks for a rainy day, we hope they’ve brought some fun to your day. Now, fall out—and don’t forget to pass these jokes along to your squad!

• 101 Big nose jokes to make you smile
• 101 What’s the difference between… jokes to make you Smile
• 101 beer jokes to Make you Smile
• 101 Avocado Jokes to Make You Smile
• 101 Apple Jokes to Make You Smile