101 Boat Jokes to Make you Smile
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Ahoy there, giggle-seekers! 🏴‍☠️ Whether you’re a seasoned sailor, a weekend pontooner, or someone who just likes yelling “I’m on a boat!”—this list is for you. We’ve gathered 101 boat jokes so funny, they’ll have you laughing so hard you’ll drop your anchor… and possibly your beverage.

So grab your life jacket (not for safety—just to keep from dying laughing), and prepare to set sail into a sea of puns, punchlines, and pure nautical nonsense.

101 Boat Jokes That'll Keep You Afloat with Laughter

101 Boat Jokes That’ll Keep You Afloat with Laughter

  1. Why don’t boats ever get bad grades? Because they always stay a-boat average.
  2. I told my boat a joke. It cracked up… right down the middle.
  3. What’s a boat’s favorite type of music? Anything with buoy-ancy.
  4. What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.
  5. My boat and I are in a relation-ship.
  6. I started a dating app for sailors—it’s called Plenty of Fish.
  7. Why was the boat so good at school? It had a stern upbringing.
  8. Did you hear about the boat that got promoted? It’s now a cruiser manager.
  9. My boat’s a therapist. It helps me keel my emotions.
  10. That pirate boat? Total plank-ster.
  11. I asked my boat if it wanted to hang out. It said, canoe not right now?
  12. I told my boat to break a leg—it went and got shipwrecked.
  13. I got seasick… turns out I have a nausea-vigation problem.
  14. Boats don’t gossip. They prefer to stern their own business.
  15. The rowboat told the yacht, “Stop being so oar-gant.”
  16. What’s a boat’s favorite exercise? Row-mba.
  17. I told my boat a pun. It just gave me a stern look.
  18. That new boat? It’s the reel deal.
  19. I named my boat “Titanic 2.” Let’s hope it’s not a sinking feeling.

101 Boat Jokes to Rock Your Cruise Control Comedy


21. I took a cruise once. The buffet sank… my diet.
22. Why don’t cruise ships play hide-and-seek? Because good luck hiding a floating hotel.
23. My cruise was so smooth, even my ex didn’t complain.
24. What’s the fanciest boat you’ll ever ride? A relation-ship.
25. I got lost on a cruise. Ended up in the bowels of the ship.
26. I met someone on a cruise… now we’re sailing into love.
27. Cruises are just floating malls with better sunsets.
28. I’m on a seafood diet—every time I see food on this cruise, I eat it.
29. Why was the comedian banned from the cruise? Too many sinking jokes.
30. I partied so hard on the cruise, even the ship said, “I’m tide.”
32. I joined a cruise yoga class—now I can plank while it’s moving.
33. On cruise ships, calories don’t count. It’s sea law.

101 Ship Happens Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh Anyway


34. I gained 10 lbs on my cruise. It was all ship-shape.
36. Why did the cruise ship get promoted? Because it had great leadership.
37. I found the love of my life on a cruise. Too bad she lives on deck 12.
38. I got kicked off the karaoke night—apparently, “My Heart Will Go On” has limits.
40. I asked the bartender for something tropical. He handed me a pineapple and a life vest.

101 Boat Jokes That Are O-fish-ally Hilarious

101 Boat Jokes That Are O-fish-ally Hilarious


41. My dad said we’re going fishing. I didn’t realize he meant emotionally.
42. Family boat trips: where bonding meets borderline mutiny.
43. We all agreed on one rule during the boat trip—no anchoring complaints.
44. My mom packed snacks like we were crossing the Atlantic.
46. My sister got seasick—guess she’s not shore of herself.
47. We brought Monopoly on board. Big mistake—it ended in a sea-rious argument.
48. The dog loved the boat… until it saw the dock.
49. I tried to take a nap, but the waves kept rocking me… to frustration.
50. The GPS said “make a U-turn”—not helpful in open water.

101 Sea-worthy Jokes That’ll Make Waves of Laughter


51. My little brother tried to catch a fish. He caught the propeller.
52. Family rule on board: No Titanic references during storms.
53. Dad kept calling himself “Captain.” We all mutinied after 30 minutes.
54. My cousin got his fishing line tangled… in the steering wheel.
55. We tried to sing sea shanties. We sounded more like sinking banshees.
56. Grandpa said he was an old sea dog. Turns out he just naps a lot.
57. Family boat trips: bonding, boating, and blaming each other for everything.
58. I told my uncle to steer us home. We ended up in New Jersey.
59. My aunt brought heels on the boat. Bold move.
60. Every family boat trip ends with “Let’s never do this again.”

HUMOR ACADEMY 2.0 Giggles graduate with honors!

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101 Buoyant Boat Jokes to Lift Your Spirits


61. What do pirates call a fancy boat? A yarrrcht.
62. Why don’t pirates use GPS? They already follow the stars.
63. I asked a pirate for directions—he gave me a treasure map.
64. Pirate therapy: “Talk about yer emARRRtions.”
65. I started a pirate band. We only play sea-shanty rock.
66. Why don’t pirates go on cruises? Too many dress codes.
67. Pirate pickup line: “Is your name booty? Because I’ve been searching for you.”
68. I caught a pirate texting—he was ARRR-gumentative.
69. Why did the pirate become a chef? He had a seasoned personality.
70. I hired a pirate to DJ. Big mistake. Only played yo-ho remixes.

101 Boat Jokes for the Sailor in All of Us


71. How do pirates make money? They start plunderprises.
72. The pirate was a great speaker—he captivARRRted the crowd.
73. Pirate therapists charge by the hourrr.
74. Never trust a pirate dentist. Too much plaque.
75. I went to pirate school. I majored in plundering and minored in navigation.
76. The pirate had a pet parrot. The parrot had better manners.
77. Why did the pirate go vegan? Too much scurvy.
78. My pirate dad gave me tough love. Always said, “Sink or swim, matey!”
79. Pirate ships don’t sink—unless the crew has too much rum.
80. What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter? Dear Sir, your ship has been seized…

101 Boat Jokes to Sail Through a Rough Day

101 Boat Jokes to Sail Through a Rough Day


81. I told my kayak a secret. It leaked.
82. My paddleboard broke up with me. Said I was too clingy.
83. That canoe ghost? Absolute night-oar.
84. I rowed across a lake for love. She lived on the other side… of the country.
85. My anchor has commitment issues. It keeps drifting.
86. Paddle faster—I hear banjos.
87. My boat told me to stop rowing. It’s feeling tugged in all directions.
88. Canoeing with my crush was great… until I tipped us both in.
89. I named my dinghy “Don’t Sink.” Let’s hope it listens.
90. My fishing boat got jealous of the cruise ship. Called it a floating hotel with issues.

101 Boat Jokes That Are Tide-tested and Giggle-approved

101 Boat Jokes That Are Tide-tested and Giggle-approved


91. The river told my boat to go with the flow.
92. My sailboat got dumped—turns out, it was too basic.
93. I yelled “man overboard!” It was just my hat.
94. My inflatable boat popped. Guess it couldn’t handle the pressure.
95. I got pulled over for speeding… in a paddle boat.
96. My kayak ghosted me. Literally floated away.
97. Why was the pontoon insecure? It had two left floats.
98. I met a girl on a boat. Now she’s my first mate.
99. My dog loves the boat—until we start moving.
100. I tried to cook on a boat once. Now my eyebrows are missing.

101 Boat Jokes That’ll Have You Rowing with Laughter


101. I sail because therapy is expensive.
102. My sailor friend is knot okay.
103. The captain yelled “hard to port!” I threw my sandwich overboard.
104. Never trust a sailor who doesn’t swear at rope.
105. I love sailing—it’s just wind-powered chaos.
106. The boat club has a “no landlubbers” policy.
107. That sailor wedding? Full of tying knots.
108. Sailors love drama. They just wave it in.
109. I tried to whistle on a ship—got excommunicated.
110. My GPS broke, so I’m following the seagulls.

101 Hilarious Boat Jokes You’ll Want to Share on Deck

101 Hilarious Boat Jokes You’ll Want to Share on Deck


111. Every sailor has a beard and a story. Neither are fully true.
112. Why don’t sailors get lonely? They talk to the wind.
113. The only thing more tangled than my rope is my love life.
114. I challenged the sea to a duel. It won.
115. I yelled “Land ho!” on a ferry. Got kicked off.
116. My boat has two speeds: slow and stuck.
117. Why do sailors drink rum? Because water is too mainstream.
118. I trust my boat more than my ex. At least it lets me steer.
119. The sea never judges—just occasionally tries to kill you.
120. Boat life: where your tan is fake, but your sea legs are real.

101 Boat Jokes to Keep Your Sense of Humor Above Water

101 Boat Jokes to Keep Your Sense of Humor Above Water

If you’re still afloat after those 101 boat jokes, congratulations—you’ve officially earned your comedy captain’s license. 🚢

Whether you’re anchored at home, docked in traffic, or just drifting through your day, we hope this list kept your spirits high and your frown overboard.

Now go share these jokes with your crew, your shipmates, or that one friend who thinks they’re “too mature” for puns. (They’re not.)