101 hockey jokes to make you smile
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101 Hockey Jokes to Make You Smile” is your ultimate hat trick of humor: part slapshot, part wisecrack, and all heart. Inside, you’ll find jokes about goalies with commitment issues, pucks with attitude problems, coaches who coach like it’s a soap opera, and fans who live for nachos more than the game.

This isn’t just a joke book. It smooths out your day, one punchline at a time. So grab your stick, keep your head up, and dive in. These jokes won’t win you a Stanley Cup… but they will win you some smiles.

Let’s drop the puck and get laughing!

Hat Tricks & Hilarity: 101 Jokes Every Hockey Fan Will Love

Hat Tricks & Hilarity: 101 Jokes Every Hockey Fan Will Love

  1. What do you call a snowman playing hockey? A sliding puck!
  2. Why was the hockey game delayed? The goalie got stuck in the net!
  3. Why don’t hockey players go on strike? They’d be skating on risky ice!
  4. Why did the hockey puck go to school? To get a little more isolation!
  5. When do hockey players dress in formal attire? When it is a tie game.
  6. Why is Cinderella so bad at hockey? She always loses a skate.

Puck-tastic Slapshots & Snickers: 101 Hilarious Hockey Jokes

  1. Why was the hockey rink so slippery? It was well-seasoned with “slap” pepper.
  2. What did the referee say to the puck? A puck-pocket!
  3. Why do hockey players make great friends? They always have your back on the ice!
  4. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of sandwich? A “puck”-wich!
  5. Why did the player sit on the bench? He wanted to learn from the best—his teammates!
  6. What did the ice say to the hockey player? “You’re really skating on thin ice!”
  7. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of sandwich? A “puck”-wich!
Slapstick Situations 101 Hockey Jokes to Score With

Slapstick Situations 101 Hockey Jokes to Score With

  1. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the top shelf!
  2. What’s a hockey player’s favorite snack? Puck-ered pickles!
  3. Why did the goalie go to school? To improve his goalkeeping skills!
  4. What do you call a hockey player who loves to tell jokes? A real pun-derful player!
  5. Why did the player sit on the bench? He wanted to watch his teammates score!
  6. What’s a hockey player’s favorite game? Freeze tag!
  7. Why did the referee bring a broom? To sweep the ice clean!

Ice-Cool Quips Pucks, Punchlines, and Power Plays: 101 Laughs on Ice

  1. Why was the hockey player always calm? Because he knew how to keep his cool!
  2. What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Ice cream, of course!
  3. Why did the hockey player bring a towel? To wipe off the sweat after scoring!
  4. What did the puck say to the stick? “You make me feel like a superstar!”
  5. What did the coach say to the team before the game? “Let’s skate to victory!”

Goalie Giggles 101 Jokes That Hit the Net

  1. What do goalies and vampires have in common? They both hate the light and love a good save.
  2. Why did the goalie go to therapy? Too many issues with letting things in.
  3. What did the coach say to the nervous goalie? “Chill—you’re just under pressure from everyone depending on you.”
  4. What’s a goalie’s favorite music genre? Anything with a lot of drops.
  5. What did the goalie say after a great date? “I saved the night!”
  6. How do you make a goalie laugh? Just shoot some puns their way.
  7. Why was the goalie bad at relationships? Commitment issues… too many rebounds.
  8. What’s a goalie’s favorite romantic movie? The Notebook—it has lots of tears and saves.
Icing on the Laugh: 101 Hysterical Hockey Jokes

Icing on the Laugh: 101 Hysterical Hockey Jokes

  1. I tried to write a joke about ice… but it broke.
  2. I asked the ice rink for advice. It gave me the cold shoulder.
  3. Don’t trust hockey players on thin ice—they’ll crack up.
  4. The ice rink threw a party. Everyone chilled.
  5. Why did the puck go to therapy? It couldn’t deal with all the pressure.
  6. I told my friend a joke about frozen water. He gave me a frosty reaction.
  7. The zamboni got a speeding ticket—it was on a slick path.
  8. I started a band with my teammates—it’s called “Cool & The Ice Picks.”
  9. Why did the ice get promoted? It always kept its cool under pressure.

Blades, Brawls & Belly Laughs: 101 Jokes on Ice

  1. Hockey players are great at dating—they know how to handle a puck.
  2. What’s a puck’s least favorite subject? Getting passed over.
  3. Pucks have feelings too—you just have to stick with them.
  4. I saw a puck in a bar. It was just trying to get picked up.
  5. I tried to be a puck once. I got slapped around.
  6. Don’t trust that puck. It’s always trying to slide out of situations.
  7. What did the puck say to the stick? “You complete me.”
  8. That puck is going places… mostly into the boards.
  9. I dated a puck once. Things moved way too fast.
  10. Never tell a puck your secrets—it’ll just rebound on you.
Cold Steel & Comedy: 101 Jokes for the Rink Rats

Cold Steel & Comedy: 101 Jokes for the Rink Rats

  1. Coach said, “Take it one game at a time.” So I played only one.
  2. I brought my stick to a sword fight… and still won.
  3. They told me to shoot my shot. So I aimed at the goalie’s face.
  4. I thought icing was only on cupcakes. Turns out it’s a penalty.
  5. What do hockey players use for motivation? The scoreboard.
  6. My stick has better aim than I do.
  7. The coach asked me to pass. So I passed out.
  8. My teammate’s best move is the fall-and-crawl.
  9. My slapshot is so weak, it apologizes mid-air.

Humor Isn’t Just Talent—It’s Trainable. We’ll Prove It

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💡 With Humor Academy 2.0, you’ll go from chuckles to full-on crowd roars. Perfect for creators, speakers, or anyone who wants to crush awkward moments like a pro.

Dating & Hockey Shoot, Score, Snicker: 101 Jokes for Hockey Fans

  1. Hockey players are great lovers—they always go for the goal.
  2. I told my date I play hockey. She said, “Cool, I love drama.”
  3. Dating a hockey player is like overtime—you never know when it’ll end.
  4. I once fell in love at a hockey game… with the nachos.
  5. My last relationship was like a power play—I got benched.
  6. Want a date with a hockey player? Just bring poutine.
  7. I dumped my boyfriend at the hockey game. I needed space—penalty box style.
  8. We had a face-off over where to eat.
  9. She said I was cold. I said I’m just in playoff mode.
  10. I knew it was true love when she let me have the last puck.
Frozen Funnybone: 101 Hockey Jokes That Stick

Frozen Funnybone: 101 Hockey Jokes That Stick

  1. Hockey is just physics with extra bruises.
  2. If E=mc², then puck = pain².
  3. My love language is slapshot velocity.
  4. Hockey math: 1 team + 1 puck = 12 fights.
  5. The only formula I need is: Me + Ice = Happiness.
  6. A goalie, a scientist, and a zamboni walk into a rink… sounds like the start of a TED talk.
  7. Newton’s 4th law: For every action, there’s an overreaction from the bench.
  8. My favorite stat is ice time… especially when I nap on the bench.
  9. I don’t do cardio—I play hockey. It’s the same but with bruises.
  10. Zambonis are the Roombas of the sports world.

Locker Room Laughs 101 Jokes for Hockey Addicts

  1. My pregame ritual? Cry a little, then tape my socks.
  2. I left my stick at home, so I played with confidence.
  3. I sharpen my skates more than I sharpen my life skills.
  4. Our team motto: “Win or whine trying.”
  5. I asked the trainer for pain relief. He handed me a mirror.
  6. We lost the game, but I won at water bottle flipping.
  7. Why are hockey players bad at hide-and-seek? We leave skate marks.
  8. I forgot my cup. Let’s just say I have a puck-load of regret.
  9. Coach asked me to play smart. I handed in my resignation.
  10. Locker room smell: Eau de Funk.
Game Night Chuckles Power Plays and Punchlines

Game Night Chuckles Power Plays and Punchlines

  1. Fans were booing me… until I tripped the ref.
  2. I got a hat trick… from buying three hats.
  3. The mascot and I are on the same skill level.
  4. I wear my mouthguard just to avoid awkward conversations.
  5. I got a penalty for being too handsome. Okay fine, for tripping.
  6. Our mascot tried to play. He scored more than I did.
  7. I warmed the bench so well it caught fire.
  8. The crowd started a wave. I thought it was a tsunami.
  9. I shoot, I miss, I apologize.

Winning (and Losing) Jokes Slashing Through the Laughs

  1. We didn’t win, but we lost spectacularly.
  2. Our trophy case is just a cardboard box.
  3. I celebrated early. Turns out it was the warm-up.
  4. I scored once… on accident.
  5. We’re undefeated in team spirit.
  6. Our team chant? “Better luck next year!”
  7. Our banner just says “Nice Try.”
  8. I wore gold skates once. Tripped instantly.
  9. Losing builds character. And therapy bills.
  10. We lost the game, but our memes were on fire.
Fans, Coaches & Refs Bench Warmers & Belly Laughs

Fans, Coaches & Refs Bench Warmers & Belly Laughs

  1. I told the ref he was blind. He agreed—it’s part of the job.
  2. Our coach’s motivational speech made me retire early.
  3. I tried to chirp a fan. Turns out it was my mom.
  4. Our fans are loyal—they haven’t left since 1998.
  5. The ref said I was offside. I said I’m always off.
  6. Coach benched me for “creative skating.”
  7. The fan wave knocked me over.
  8. I yelled “Shoot!”… at the popcorn guy.
  9. The ref missed everything—he must be ghosting the puck.
  10. Coach said “hustle.” I heard “snuggle.” I went to the bench.

Stick Taps & Stand-Up: 101 Ice Rink Jokes

101 hockey jokes that (hopefully) didn’t leave you icing your face from too much laughing.

Whether you chuckled, chortled, snorted, or just let out a polite Canadian “heh,” we hope this book delivered more laughs than a mascot on skates.
Because at the end of the day, hockey isn’t just about goals, assists, or penalty minutes—it’s about the love of the game, the smell of the rink, and laughing with your teammates (even the one who can’t stop tripping over the blue line).

So, next time you’re at the rink, in the stands, or stuck in a 5-minute major for “being too serious,” pull out a few of these jokes and pass the puck of laughter around.

Thanks for reading—and remember: keep your stick on the ice and your sense of humor in the game!