101 alcohol jokes to make you smile
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Ever laughed so hard you spilled your drink? No? Well, you’re about to.
Whether you’re a wine whisperer, beer believer, or just here for the cocktails, we’ve got 101 alcohol jokes that’ll have you grinning like a bartender on payday. So pour yourself something strong (or just pretend), sit back, and get ready for a happy hour of hilarious one-liners, puns, and punchlines. Cheers to the giggles!

101 Alcohol Jokes Funnier Than Your Drunk Uncle

101 Alcohol Jokes Funnier Than Your Drunk Uncle

  1. I told my vodka it was over. But it just couldn’t let go of the past… it was still distilled.
  2. Beer doesn’t solve problems. But neither does water.
  3. Whiskey business is always risky business.
  4. I tried to make a gin joke… but it didn’t tonic well with people.
  5. I told my wife I was drinking less. Technically, I’m using smaller glasses.
  6. My liver called. It wants to file a restraining order.
  7. I have mixed drinks about feelings.

Classic Bar Jokes to Lighten Your Spirits

  1. A screwdriver walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!”
    Screwdriver replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”
  2. Bartender: “Why the long face?”
    Horse: “I quit drinking. Now I’m just a neigh-sayer.”
  3. I told the bartender to surprise me. He showed me a picture of my ex with someone else.
  4. “What do you recommend for someone heartbroken?” “Whiskey. Because vodka’s too emotional.”

Beer Belly Jokes That Go Down Smoother Than Whiskey

  1. I don’t have a beer belly. I have a protective case for my six-pack.
  2. My six-pack is just hiding behind a keg.
  3. I work out… just lifting pints.
  4. Beer before gym? Never. Gym before beer? Always.
  5. I replaced my treadmill with a keg stand. Best fitness decision ever.
Disclaimer: We’re Not Your Bartender” Edition

Disclaimer: We’re Not Your Bartender” Edition


> These jokes are strong, but we recommend pairing them with water and common sense. We’re here for laughs, not hangovers. Please drink responsibly, tip your bartender, and never text your ex after wine o’clock. Also: if you’re underage, stick to juice… and dad jokes.

Wine Jokes May Cause Spontaneous Laughter

  1. Red wine pairs well with regret.
  2. I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a wine enthusiast with commitment issues.
  3. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine—and that’s kind of the same thing.
  4. My blood type is Merlot-positive.

Relationships & Drinking That Prove You’re Not Alone in Drinking

  1. I asked my date what her type is. She said “anything over 40% ABV.”
  2. My ex said I drank too much. Joke’s on her—I barely remember her name!
  3. Relationships come and go, but tequila is forever.
  4. We broke up over alcohol. She wanted to stop drinking, and I wanted to stop dating her.
Party & Hangover Jokes to Laugh Out Loud

Party & Hangover Jokes to Laugh Out Loud

  1. Last night I had a vision. Oh wait—no, that was just double vision.
  2. I woke up hugging a traffic cone. Either I partied too hard or I joined a construction crew.
  3. My hangover has a hangover.
  4. I drink responsibly… by making sure all my friends are drunk too.
  5. I don’t get drunk—I become a social butterfly with poor decision-making skills.

Smart-Alecky Alcohol Jokes for Every Type of Drinker

  1. Alcohol is technically a solution. So I drink it like a scientist.
  2. I drink to forget… but I forgot what I was trying to forget.
  3. My memory has three settings: good, bad, and tequila.
  4. I put the “pro” in “prosecco.”
  5. Alcohol: because adulting is hard.
Stop Saying “I’m Not Funny”—Enroll in the Upgrade

Stop Saying “I’m Not Funny”—Enroll in the Upgrade

Ever told a joke so bad that even you apologized for it?
Do you secretly rehearse comebacks in the shower and still mess them up in public?
Friend… you don’t need therapy. You need Humor Academy 2.0.
We’ll teach you how to:
✔️ Be quick on your feet
✔️ Tell stories that don’t put people to sleep
✔️ And finally stop saying, “I’m not funny.”
Because guess what? You are. You just need the update.

Drinking Mishaps Your Liver Might Not Approve

  1. I don’t need a breathalyzer. My dancing says it all.
  2. My drunk texts should be classified as modern poetry.
  3. I didn’t get lost. I was exploring in a zigzag.
  4. I woke up in someone else’s shoes. Literally. Thanks, vodka.
Old-School Booze Jokes for Sober Reflection

Old-School Booze Jokes for Sober Reflection

  1. Back in my day, we drank out of a hose… and also vodka bottles hidden in thermoses.
  2. Grandpa said whiskey kept him alive. So we buried him with a bottle—just in case.
  3. I’m aging like fine wine—stored in the back of a fridge and forgotten.
  4. My retirement plan involves whiskey and forgetting the stock market exists.
  5. Old age comes with wisdom and wine discounts.

Drunk Philosophy Jokes Make Everything Funnier

  1. I drink, therefore I am… horizontal.
  2. Do I drink because I’m deep, or am I just in too deep?
  3. Reality is an illusion… especially after the third shot.
  4. I got drunk and discovered the meaning of life. Unfortunately, I wrote it on a napkin I used as a coaster.

Short and Sharp Never Gets Old

  1. Sip happens.
  2. Tequila: helping ugly people hook up since forever.
  3. Save water. Drink cocktails.
  4. Vodka sees no problems.
  5. I’d give up drinking, but I’m no quitter.
Tropical & Vacation Vibes You Should Read Before a Tequila Shot

Tropical & Vacation Vibes You Should Read Before a Tequila Shot

  1. I need a vacation… or at least a margarita with a view.
  2. Island time starts after the second daiquiri.
  3. I came. I saw. I ordered a piña colada.
  4. Sun’s out. Rum’s out.
  5. I have a passport and a flask. Let’s go.

101 Cocktail-Infused Jokes to Shake Up Your Day

  1. I’m whisky-ing my life away.
  2. Don’t be absinthe-minded!
  3. Just brew it.
  4. Brandy-new day, same old hangover.
  5. Let the shenanigans be-gin.

Text & Social Media Style Before You Text Your Ex

  1. Status: Currently fueled by 80% sarcasm, 20% rosé.
  2. If you see me typing in all caps, I’ve been wine-texting again.
  3. I posted a selfie with a wine bottle. It’s now my LinkedIn profile pic.
Party Animal Jokes: Can You Handle It Without Spilling Your Drink

Party Animal Jokes: Can You Handle It Without Spilling Your Drink?

  1. I came to dance and drink. But mostly drink.
  2. My spirit animal is a drunk raccoon with a bottle of wine.
  3. Let’s raise our standards and our glasses.
  4. Party like your liver isn’t watching.
  5. I don’t chase shots—I let them come to me.

Fantasy, Horror, & Sci-Fi Alcohol Jokes That Are More Lit Than a Friday Night Out

  1. Vampires don’t drink wine… unless it’s sangria.
  2. I’m not a wizard, but this drink just made me disappear for three hours.
  3. Beam me up, Scotchy.
  4. I drank so much I started seeing spirits… and they owe me rent.
  5. I woke up in Narnia once. Turns out it was just my friend’s walk-in closet.
101 Alcohol Jokes That Will Have You Saying “Pour Another!”

101 Alcohol Jokes That Will Have You Saying “Pour Another!”

  1. I once tried to make moonshine in a blender. Long story short: no eyebrows now.
  2. Alcohol is like a GPS with no signal: it always reroutes me to regret.
  3. I kissed a cactus once. Tequila was involved.
  4. I tried to mix Red Bull and wine. My body rejected it and sent me an invoice.
  5. I used a coaster once. It was a slice of pizza. Worked great.

Workplace & Office Humor That Deserve a Toast

  1. My boss said no drinking on the job. So I drink about the job instead.
  2. I bring a flask to Zoom calls. It’s called multitasking.
  3. HR called. Apparently, tequila isn’t a “team-building activity.”
  4. Friday meetings should come with cocktail menus.
  5. My office coffee tastes suspiciously like Irish whiskey.

Personification & Absurdism Alcohol Jokes That Are Almost Too Clever to Be Drunk

  1. My whiskey hugged me back. Either I’m drunk, or it’s alive.
  2. My wine glass and I are in a committed relationship.
  3. I spilled beer on my diary. Now it’s a brewtiful mess.
  4. The margarita asked me to salsa. I accepted.

Self-Deprecating & Relatable for People Who Drink… and Think

  1. I’m not an alcoholic. I’m just very enthusiastic about my hobbies.
  2. I drink like there’s no tomorrow… which is usually true the next morning.
  3. I don’t need a support group. I need a bartender.
  4. My hobbies include sipping, slurring, and sleeping.
Shopping & Lifestyle jokes That Deserve Their Own Happy Hour

Shopping & Lifestyle jokes That Deserve Their Own Happy Hour

  1. I buy wine the way people buy shoes: recklessly and in bulk.
  2. I joined a wine club. It’s me and my couch.
  3. Who needs therapy when you have a liquor aisle?
  4. I went to Target sober once. Never again.

Dark Humor (lighthearted) Even Scotch Is Jealous

  1. Alcohol won’t kill you. But it will RSVP to your funeral.
  2. My tombstone will read: “Died doing what he loved… vodka.”
  3. I asked my guardian angel for help. He handed me a flask.
  4. Death by cocktail: sounds like a fabulous autobiography.
  5. My liver just sent me a breakup letter.

Meta & Smart Humor to Share With Your Drinking Buddies

  1. This joke contains 40% alcohol and 60% bad decisions.
  2. If you’re reading this and smiling, you’re probably drinking too.
  3. Alcohol: the original social network.
  4. A toast to all the jokes that make no sense until the third drink.
  5. This joke is aged 5 years in an oak barrel and still not funny.
101 Hilarious Alcohol Jokes to Break the Ice at Any Party

101 Hilarious Alcohol Jokes to Break the Ice at Any Party

And there you have it—101 alcohol jokes poured straight from the comedy bottle and served with a side of smiles. If you made it to the end without snorting your drink, we applaud your self-control.
So the next time you’re at a party, stuck in line at the bar, or just need to spice up your group chat, remember: a good alcohol joke never goes out of style—it just gets better with age (like whiskey).
Share this with your drinking buddies or save it for your next hangover scroll session. And always drink responsibly… unless you’re bingeing jokes—then go wild. Check out ToPHypeJokes on YouTube — laughter served live!