101 mustache jokes to Make you Smile
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Mustache jokes? Yes. 101 of them? Absolutely. Ready to laugh so hard you’ll grow a five o’clock shadow out of pure joy? These carefully crafted one-liners are slick, stylish, and guaranteed to bring the upper-lip energy your feed (and soul) desperately needs. Let’s go!

101 Mustache Jokes to Comb Through with Laughter

101 Mustache Jokes to Comb Through with Laughter

  1. I’d tell you a mustache joke… but I’ll shave it for later.
  2. My mustache and I are in a committed relationship—he’s clingy, but I’m attached.
  3. I didn’t choose the stache life. The stache life curled itself onto me.
  4. You call it a crumb catcher. I call it lunch insurance.
  5. Mustaches: because my upper lip was getting cold.
  6. My mustache went to therapy. It was feeling a little hairy emotionally.
  7. I tried to trim my mustache. Now I have a mustn’t-ache.
  8. They say “don’t judge a book by its cover,” but my mustache clearly screams “plot twist.”
  9. My mustache walked into a bar. The bartender said, “We don’t serve facial hair here.” The mustache said, “Don’t worry, I’m just here for the buzz.”

The Laugh-Stache Collection: Jokes That Stick Above the Lip

  1. My mustache has more followers than me on Instagram. It’s the real influencer.
  2. I named my mustache “The Suspense.” Why? Because it always hangs there.
  3. Some grow mustaches for Movember. Mine just stuck around for the attention.
  4. My mustache applied for a job. The resume was a little too curly.
  5. I trained my mustache to do tricks. It can sit, stay, and occasionally look French.
  6. My mustache is solar powered. That’s why I always tilt my face to the sun dramatically.
  7. When I shave my mustache, my lip feels naked and afraid.
  8. I got kicked out of a soup tasting. Apparently, mustaches are not spoons.
  9. My mustache entered a limbo contest. It lost. Too stiff.
  10. I don’t have a mustache. I have an eyebrow escapee.
101 Mustache Jokes That Won’t Be Trimmed

101 Mustache Jokes That Won’t Be Trimmed

  1. It’s not just facial hair—it’s a whisk-torical event.
  2. I tried waxing my mustache. Now I have separation whiskues.
  3. My mustache graduated magna cum laude-stache.
  4. I’m not lazy—my mustache is just on a curl break.
  5. I once kissed a guy with a mustache. Now I have a fur baby.
  6. I mustache you a question… but I’ll shave it for later.
  7. My barber said, “Let’s trim that caterpillar.” I said, “His name is Steve.”
  8. It’s not a mustache. It’s a lip toupee.
  9. My mustache started a podcast—Hair Me Out.

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Mustache Giggles: A Hairy Good Time

  1. My mustache identifies as a top hat for my lip.
  2. It’s not facial hair—it’s face flair.
  3. I tried growing a handlebar mustache, but it kept steering me into trouble.
  4. Every mustache has a silver lining—especially mine. It’s aging like fine whiskers.
  5. My mustache doesn’t get tangled. It gets emotionally complex.
  6. My mustache and I are growing apart. Literally. It’s splitting in the middle.
  7. I tried entering a mustache contest, but I got disqualified for illegal grooming enhancements.
  8. My mustache formed a boy band—Whisker Direction.
  9. I didn’t grow a mustache; it manifested itself with sheer charisma.
Self-Care Mustache Jokes to Groom Your Mood

Self-Care Mustache Jokes to Groom Your Mood

  1. My mustache has a skincare routine longer than my entire life plan.
  2. I brush my mustache more than I brush off my responsibilities.
  3. My mustache has conditioner. My relationships? Not so much.
  4. I use beard oil on my mustache. Now it thinks it’s royalty.
  5. Mustache grooming tip: Whisper sweet nothings to it daily.
  6. My mustache asked for a spa day. I gave it coconut oil and a TED Talk.
  7. I told my mustache it looked rough. It took a personal day.
  8. My mustache went to the gym. It’s now curling weights.
  9. If you listen closely, you can hear my mustache hum motivational quotes.
  10. My mustache meditates. That’s why it never curls under pressure.

The Pun Before the Stache: Jokes You Can’t Shave Off

  1. I accidentally used glue instead of wax. Now my mustache is stuck in a permanent smile.
  2. My mustache has a bedtime routine, including affirmations and warm milk.
  3. I use a tiny comb on my mustache. It feels like petting a very confident squirrel.
  4. Mustache maintenance is 30% product, 70% emotional support.
  5. My mustache ghosted me once. I woke up and it was gone.
  6. I gave my mustache a pep talk today. It perked right up.
  7. My mustache started shedding. I think it’s stressed.
  8. I got a split end on my mustache. It filed for divorce.
  9. I brush my mustache counterclockwise for good luck.
  10. My mustache thinks it’s better than me. And honestly, it might be.
Need a Laugh? Grow Through These 101 Mustache Jokes

Need a Laugh? Grow Through These 101 Mustache Jokes

  1. My mustache is undercover—literally.
  2. It’s not a mustache, it’s a disguise in plain sight.
  3. My mustache solved a mystery last night. The culprit was crumbs.
  4. I caught my mustache snooping through my diary.
  5. Mustaches: because every face needs a private investigator.
  6. I wore sunglasses with my mustache. Now I look like I know government secrets.
  7. My mustache once interrogated my beard.
  8. They call him “Agent Stache.” Licensed to tickle.
  9. My mustache carries a magnifying glass and a hunch.
  10. I can’t grow a mustache without instantly looking like I’ve seen things.

Mustache You to Laugh: Groomed Gags Galore

  1. My mustache joined a secret society. Their handshake is very soft.
  2. When my mustache twitches, someone’s lying.
  3. My mustache detected sarcasm before I even said a word.
  4. I don’t need a polygraph—I have a lie-detecting mustache.
  5. My mustache has binoculars. For what? Classified.
  6. Mustaches: the original lie detectors.
  7. I tried shaving. My mustache tapped my hand and whispered, “You sure?”
  8. My mustache once solved a cold case. Literally—it was freezing.
  9. My mustache has a trench coat and trust issues.
  10. It’s not a mustache—it’s facial surveillance.
Crack a Smile with These 101 Mustache Masterpieces

Crack a Smile with These 101 Mustache Masterpieces

  1. My mustache auditioned for Netflix. Still waiting to hear back.
  2. I entered my mustache into Eurovision. It placed top 10 in Dramatic Flair.
  3. My mustache has a TikTok. It’s just videos of it doing nothing… but with vibes.
  4. My mustache wrote a memoir: “Upper Lip, Lower Expectations.”
  5. I put a tiny top hat on my mustache. Now it only drinks sparkling water.
  6. My mustache is in a band. It plays jazz… or maybe jazz plays it.
  7. My mustache reads Nietzsche. I just read cereal boxes.
  8. My mustache went viral before I did.
  9. My mustache has a publicist.
  10. I got upstaged by my own mustache. Again.

Upper Lip Humor: Mustache Jokes with Class

  1. My mustache started its own reality show: Keeping Up With the Follicles.
  2. My mustache was on Shark Tank. It pitched beard glitter.
  3. I gave my mustache a middle part. Now it’s emotionally distant.
  4. My mustache has a theme song. It plays every time I sneeze.
  5. My mustache refuses to work weekends.
  6. My mustache voted for itself in a local election.
  7. My mustache doesn’t believe in horoscopes—it writes them.
  8. My mustache ghostwrites for famous eyebrows.
  9. My mustache built a tiny library and filled it with secrets.
  10. My mustache believes in aliens. I just believe in conditioner.
The Distinguished Joke Book for Mustache Connoisseurs

The Distinguished Joke Book for Mustache Connoisseurs

  1. My mustache is magical. It vanishes during job interviews.
  2. I summoned my mustache using dark roast coffee.
  3. My mustache predicted the weather. It curled at 70% humidity.
  4. My mustache got sorted into House Gryffinstache.
  5. I caught my mustache casting spells on my toothbrush.
  6. My mustache talks to animals. Mostly squirrels and confused cats.
  7. I gave my mustache a wizard hat. Now it only speaks in riddles.
  8. My mustache has a wand. It’s made of pasta.
  9. My mustache turned water into tea. Probably just my breath.
  10. My mustache has a nemesis: humidity.

101 Mustache Jokes That Slay Harder Than Your Favorite Filter

  1. My mustache floats three inches above my lip. It’s enlightened.
  2. My mustache reads tarot. It only pulls The Handlebar.
  3. My mustache made a deal with a genie. Now it’s indestructible.
  4. My mustache wrote a fantasy novel. All the characters are strands of hair.
  5. My mustache speaks fluent Latin. I don’t even speak fluent me.
  6. My mustache controls the weather—on my face.
  7. My mustache trained with a Himalayan monk. It’s now calm but dramatic.
  8. My mustache doesn’t shed—it transmutes.
  9. My mustache haunts mirrors when I’m not home.
  10. My mustache is immortal. I’m just its temporary host.
101 Mustache Jokes That Deserve a Double Tap

101 Mustache Jokes That Deserve a Double Tap

You’ve officially survived 101 mustache jokes. That’s no small feat — that’s a fur-lipped journey of courage, comedy, and questionable grooming choices. If you’re not laughing by now, check your mirror — your mustache may have taken all the humor for itself. Stay groomed, stay goofy, and may the stache be with you.

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