Forget saving the city — Spider-Man’s real superpower is making us laugh until we’re webbed to the floor. From clingy punchlines to wall-crawling wordplay, we’ve rounded up 101 Spider-Man jokes that are stickier than his web-shooters. Perfect for Marvel fans, meme-lovers, and anyone who’s ever dreamt of slinging puns through the city. Let’s spin some comedy gold!

101 Spider-Man Comedy That’ll Stick With You
- Why did Spider-Man break up with his girlfriend?
Because she found him too clingy! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of rice?
Uncle Ben’s. - What do you call Spider-Man when he loses his powers?
Peter Parked. - Why did Spider-Man open a bakery?
To sell web-cakes! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite sport?
Web-slinging tennis — everything’s a net gain! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite kind of pants?
Web-jeans! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite way to travel?
Swing class. - What does Spider-Man do on his day off?
He just hangs out. - Why doesn’t Spider-Man use his powers for laundry?
Because he keeps getting stuck in the spin cycle!
Spider-Man at Work So Funny, Even Venom Would Smile
- What job did Spider-Man take at the bakery?
Web designer. - Why did Spider-Man bring string to the office?
For networking. - What happened when Spider-Man joined a band?
They couldn’t stop jamming! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite computer language?
Java-Scripture — it’s sacred to him. - Why did Spider-Man get kicked out of the IT department?
He kept spinning webs on the routers. - What app did Spider-Man launch?
Tinder, but for spiders — called Web of Love. - What’s Spider-Man’s startup called?
Swingfinity. - Why did Spider-Man quit working in customer service?
He couldn’t hang up on anyone. - Why is Spider-Man a terrible DJ?
Too many web drops. - What’s Spider-Man’s side hustle?
Catching flies at weddings.

101 Hilarious Web-Slinging Laughs
- Why didn’t Peter Parker do his homework?
His Spidey sense said “danger!” - What’s Spider-Man’s worst subject?
Chemistry — he kept sticking to the tables. - Why did Spider-Man skip PE?
He already swings all day! - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite school club?
Debate… he webs up every argument. - What’s Peter Parker’s GPA?
4.0 — he’s sticky with knowledge. - Why didn’t Peter Parker get into art school?
His portfolio was too web-based. - What did Spider-Man bring for show-and-tell?
A bug he met on the ceiling. - Why did Spider-Man bring tape to class?
For backup webbing. - What did Peter Parker write in his college essay?
“With great power… comes great tuition.” - What’s Spider-Man’s major?
Web Development.

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101 Times Spider-Man Made Us Laugh Out Loud
- Why don’t Spider-Man and Batman get along?
Too many webs, not enough gadgets. - What does Iron Man call Spider-Man?
WiFi with legs. - Why did Thor get stuck in Spider-Man’s web?
Because even gods can get caught in traffic. - What happens when Spider-Man meets Ant-Man?
Tiny high-fives all around! - Why did Doctor Strange hire Spider-Man?
For some sticky magic. - What’s Spider-Man’s nickname for the Hulk?
Smash-bro. - How does Spider-Man text the Avengers?
On Insta-web. - What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite Avenger?
Black Widow — she’s too spider-friendly. - Why doesn’t Deadpool bother Spider-Man anymore?
He got web-blocked. - What do Spider-Man and Groot talk about?
Mostly webs… and “I am Groot.”

Spider-Man at Home That Hit You Like a Web Blast
- What does Spider-Man do when he gets home?
Unmasks and unwinds. - What does Aunt May cook for Spider-Man?
Bug stew. He pretends to like it. - Why does Spider-Man always clean the windows?
He’s already up there. - What game does Spider-Man play with Aunt May?
Webopoly. - Why did Peter Parker install a hammock?
So he could practice passive swinging. - What does Spider-Man watch on TV?
Arachnid Idol. - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite bedtime story?
Charlotte’s Web. - What pillow does Spider-Man use?
A silk one — spider-approved. - What does Spider-Man call Alexa?
Jarvis 2.0. - Why did Peter Parker move out?
He ran out of web space.
Dating Spider-Man Joke Collection: 101 Cringe-Free Punchlines
- Why did Mary Jane dump Spider-Man?
She said the relationship was going in circles. - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you a wall? Because I want to stick with you.” - Why did Spider-Man cancel his Tinder date?
Web-related emergency. - What’s Spider-Man’s biggest red flag in dating?
Bug spray. - What kind of bouquet does Spider-Man give?
Roses… with web wrapping. - How does Spider-Man propose?
Hanging upside down with a web ring. - What’s the worst date Spider-Man ever had?
Blind date… with Daredevil. - Why did Spider-Man ghost his date?
His Spidey sense tingled — red flag alert! - Where does Spider-Man take dates?
Rooftop diners — high-class views. - What did Spider-Man say on his anniversary?
“You’ve caught me in your web, too.”

101 Spider-Man Jokes So Good, Even Aunt May Would LOL
- Does Spider-Man ever get tired of swinging?
No, he considers it cardio. - If a spider bites Spider-Man again, does he double in power?
Only if it’s radioactive… and has a LinkedIn profile. - How many webs can Spider-Man shoot in a day?
Enough to crash a spider server. - If Spider-Man had a podcast, what would it be called?
“Web Talk.” - Does Spider-Man fear commitment?
Only when the web is too sticky. - Can Spider-Man get a haircut?
Only when he stops sticking to the chair. - What’s Spider-Man’s biggest fear?
Feather dusters. - Is Spider-Man vegan?
He’d prefer not to eat his cousins. - Can Spider-Man go through airport security?
Not without getting tangled. - Why doesn’t Spider-Man use Uber?
He’s already swinging that way.
Swing, Snap, Snicker: 101 Spider-Man Laughs You Need Today
- I tried to hire Spider-Man for pest control. He just adopted the spider.
- Spider-Man’s autobiography? The Sticky Truth.
- Peter Parker: photographer by day, superhero by web.
- You know Spider-Man’s in town when the buildings get thread decor.
- Spider-Man’s idea of “networking” is very literal.
- I asked Spider-Man to help clean. Now my walls are too clean.
- Spider-Man doesn’t need coffee — swinging wakes you up fast.
- Spider-Man’s retirement plan? Hanging out permanently.
- You never see Spider-Man with a dog. Too many leash tangles.

The Funniest 101 Spider-Man Jokes on the Web (Literally)
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite workout?
Wall sits. - Why doesn’t Spider-Man get invited to yoga?
He makes the other poses look lazy. - How does Spider-Man keep his costume clean?
Web-wash! - What did Spider-Man name his pet goldfish?
Doctor Flop-topus. - Why did Spider-Man buy a diary?
To web his thoughts together. - How does Spider-Man order coffee?
“Extra shot… of adrenaline.” - What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite insect?
The fly — too fast to catch. - Why is Spider-Man bad at poker?
You can read him like a comic book. - What does Spider-Man call a lazy web day?
A sticky situation. - What do you get when Spider-Man becomes a plumber?
Leaks covered in webs.
From Parked to Punchlines: 101 Spider-Man Giggles
- Why doesn’t Spider-Man use AirPods?
They stick to his ears… permanently. - What happened when Spider-Man used VR?
He tried to swing and hit a wall. - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite smartphone?
An iWeb. - Why did Spider-Man return his smartwatch?
It didn’t tingle when danger was near. - What’s Spider-Man’s version of Siri?
“Hey May!” - Why can’t Spider-Man be a hacker?
Sticky keyboards. - What does Spider-Man yell when WiFi goes down?
“WHERE’S MY WEB?!” - Why didn’t Spider-Man get into crypto?
He already deals in spider coin. - What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite browser?
FireBug. - What happens when Spider-Man loses signal?
He just yells louder: “SPIDEY SENSE, DO SOMETHING!”

Spooky Spidey Jokes That Prove He’s the Real Comedian Hero
- What does Spider-Man wear on Halloween?
Just himself — he’s always in costume! - What do ghosts say to Spider-Man?
“Boo-webs!” - What’s Spider-Man’s favorite horror movie?
8-Legged Freaks. - What happens when Spider-Man gets scared?
He web-jumps backward. - What candy does Spider-Man hate?
Anything with fly parts. - What haunted Spider-Man for years?
Not ghost goblins — high school photos. - Why don’t zombies chase Spider-Man?
They can’t catch him — web advantage. - How does Spider-Man decorate for Halloween?
Zero effort — the webs are already there. - What’s Spider-Man’s spooky name?
Peter Parkergeist. - What do werewolves think of Spider-Man?
“Too stringy.”
Laughter is His Superpower Problems
- What happens when Spider-Man sneezes?
He accidentally webs the cat. - Why doesn’t Spider-Man shake hands?
It’s… complicated. - Why did Spider-Man fail his driver’s test?
He kept trying to swing through traffic. - Why did Spider-Man stop working at UPS?
Every package got webbed. - What happens when Spider-Man eats spicy food?
He shoots fire-webs. - Can Spider-Man cook?
Only if you like sticky spaghetti. - Why did Spider-Man get banned from the gym?
Webbing the treadmill again. - What happens if Spider-Man sings?
He autotunes with web-vibrations. - Can Spider-Man dance?
Yes, but he sticks to the floor. - What’s Spider-Man’s yoga mantra?
“Ommm…gosh I’m stuck again.”

Old Man Swing Into Humor
- What did retired Spider-Man say?
“Back in my day, we used real web shooters!” - Why did Old Spidey carry a cane?
Swing-related knee trauma. - What does Grandpa Spider-Man give out for Halloween?
Sugar webs. - Why does senior Spider-Man knit?
He’s just practicing his webbing! - What did old Spider-Man hang from?
The porch swing. - What’s Spider-Man’s retirement community called?
The Web-ster Home. - Why did Spider-Man start gardening?
So he could grow his own sticky vines. - How does old Spider-Man stay fit?
Wall crawling, twice a week. - What’s Grandpa Spidey’s bedtime?
8 PM… with great power comes early naps. - What does old Spider-Man complain about?
“Kids these days don’t even sling right!”
The Only Spider-Man Joke List You’ll Ever Need
- Why did Spider-Man start a YouTube channel?
To catch views instead of villains. - What’s Spider-Man’s least favorite part of the day?
Washing his suit — again! - What does Spider-Man do on Christmas?
Web the tree instead of decorating it. - What did Spider-Man get for Valentine’s Day?
A card that said “I’m stuck on you.” - Why did Spider-Man get detention?
For webbing the substitute teacher. - What happened when Spider-Man went to therapy?
He got emotionally tangled. - Why don’t spiders envy Spider-Man?
Because he pays rent. - Why did Spider-Man start a blog?
To vent about his sticky situations. - What’s Spider-Man’s ringtone?
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig… - Why doesn’t Spider-Man use public restrooms?
Everything sticks.

Spider-Man Sticky Situations Never Sounded So Funny
- Why did Spider-Man cry at the zoo?
They called him “just another spider.” - What does Spider-Man order at Taco Bell?
Web-wrapped burritos. - What did Spider-Man say to the mirror?
“You’re tangled, but you’re trying.” - Why did Spider-Man join a circus?
To finally get paid for flipping around. - What’s Spider-Man’s password?
WebsRUs123! - How does Spider-Man win arguments?
By hanging around long enough. - Why did Spider-Man start a band?
He was tired of solo swinging. - What did Spider-Man say after stubbing his toe?
“With great pain comes great responsibility!” - Why did Spider-Man open a coffee shop?
Because even heroes need grounds for greatness. - What’s Spider-Man’s life motto?
“Stick with it.”
Get Hooked on Spider-Man Humor to Make You LOL
You made it through all 101 jokes — congrats, you’re officially part of the Wall-Crawler Comedy Club! If your day feels a little brighter and your laugh a little louder, our job here is done. Don’t forget to share the laughs and sling this post to your fellow Spidey fans. Because let’s face it: laughter is the real superpower. You bring the snacks. TopHypeJokes brings the comedy.